In retrospect….
As it is customary for me, I love to take the last hours of 2008 to reflect on all that has transpired during the course of the year. And what a year it’s been!
~2007 was a year of emotional upheaval. I spent the entire year mending a broken heart, only to realize that the demise of this relationship was one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. I now understand with the clarity only obtained through hindsight, what his purpose in my life had been and I am duly grateful for the indelible memories he left me.
~2008 was a year of inner turmoil and growth. During the course of the year, I began to question the choices I had made thus far, and challenged the notions I had held as truths for my entire adult life. Uncertainty became the prevailing sentiment in every decision I made. Whether this was largely in part to my being 29 or just the way the stars were aligned for me this year, there were many moments where I hit rock bottom. In this quest to decipher my new truths, I have lost all passion for what once inspired me, and I am meandering through life attempting to rekindle the flames that once burned so brightly within me. But in spite of these rocky times, it has been a wondrous year! I have gained much and lost some. I realized how extraordinarily blessed I am to have such an amazing love line and how rare a gift that is nowadays. I have vowed never, ever, to take them for granted. I have lost some friendships (I am definitely much better at discerning reasons, seasons, and lifetimes) but I have gained much insight through those experiences. I have lost my blood line only to gain a stronger bond with my love line. This loss has been the most painful of them all and has left a hollow void in my heart. I have lost my certainty in what I thought I wanted only to gain a better understanding, through my uncertainty, of all that I really needed. In the end, it has truly been the best of times and the worst of times but I wouldn’t trade them at all. In my vulnerability, I have gained strength and insight…and some may say, wisdom beyond years.
I hope 2009 brings me new beginnings, happy endings, and a fabulous 30th birthday. I hope to continue on the road less travelled as I forge ahead into unchartered waters…but most importantly, I hope to revitalize my passion, even if it’s now directed at new pursuits (my passion IS my driving force, my impetus). I wish for (in no particular order)
clarity. love. wisdom. patience. happiness. health.
and I wish you all the same!
May 2009 be the year you all desire! I know it will be for me :)
