it happens to the best of us.
Do you ever just feel blank? It’s a terrible way to feel, just floating along with no direction. You don’t know how you are supposed to feel, or even how you would want to feel. It’s a cloud that darkens everything and leaves you gasping for air. You try to occupy your mind with art and books and writing and friends, but nothing seems to contain the same excitement that it once did. It is as if the volume to everything has suddenly been turned down. You are left with that sickening ringing in your ears, and you wonder where the music went. Life seems pointless, despite all the things that tell you its not. You feel apathetic and empty, and nothing can change that. Cigarette after cigarette, this feeling—or lack of feeling—remains. It’s just one of those things that nothing can help. You are forced to wait it out, although their is no way of telling how long it will last.
But when it is finally over, the day seems so much brighter. Everything has its meaning back, and you feel content just knowing that you exist. Into every life a little rain must fall. And when it is all behind you, the puddles will reflect the sunlight.
Wow Mike. You’ve so eloquently captured the road I’d been travelling…except that I substituted the cigarettes with alcohol..but you are absolutely right in stating that “when it is all behind you, the puddles will reflect the sunlight.”
